Absolutely, Jesus
/Wish I could be distracted, lose focus, think of something besides life -
tonight, I don’t want to scream in silence, tonight I want to be heard…
tick tock goes the clock
Still, I want to take care of things myself -
even healing from surgery…. it’s so hard to get help, so hard not to get your own water -
the absolute surrender, the absolute faith
the absolute honest whisper to yourself - I don’t like this
And here is the other thing….
I don’t know any of this beyond the assuredness of my own soul, but -
some of my experiences of cancer have been a walk with the Holy Spirit…
others have been a walk with God…
And this is a walk with Jesus….
The Holy Spirt fills me with divine fire, gives me the courage to feel my warrior self -
God gives me the wisdom to feel whole, to trust myself, and to breathe…
This experience is new, this is Jesus, I don’t want to surrender,… anything but that… I need to research, deep dive into the bible, there has to be a way to surrender and fight simultaneously…
leave me verses, quotes, or thoughts -
(the television show in the background just said “look like you are looking up to Jesus”… I kid you not)
so I am going to go ahead and trust my soul on this one… Jesus is here
Verses for the grace to fight - and to surrender, but not to the battle, never surrender to the battle….
AMEN.
