Closing Day...

I woke up at 4:44 this morning.

I can’t tell you what I was doing at 4:44 am, twenty six years ago, but I can say that I was in Milwaukee Children’s Hospital preparing for the most significant rebirth of my life.

I truly honor this sacred journey every year. Normally I would have my journals out with me and I would read what I was thinking at this moment 26 years ago. I am not able to do so this year - not in my packed up state of life. Those journals are tucked away for safe keeping.

And that is the best gift ever. Because this year, I am listening to God’s take as He shares the story.

I’ve always cherished the fact that my bone marrow transplant occurred during Christmas season. I’ve always known it was part of the miracle. Still, I think I let the details keep me from something perhaps a little quieter and maybe something I am ready for now.

Twenty six years ago I was fighting for my life with a very uncertain future.

Today, December the 26th I signed papers to close on my house… a different kind of uncertain future.

Tomorrow December 27th I receive chemo again. December 30th will mark 26 years post bone-marrow transplant. I think we think about dates a lot this time of year. I know that I do.

AND.

I always like to have a running start before the New Year. I am actually really exited for 2019. Not just for it’s possibility but because of my new understanding.

Today, I get to stop packing boxes. I get to live here now. I’ve been moving since July. Yes it was all part of the journey. The packing, the moving, the being in the present moment.

But just like I was ready to move on 26 years ago… I am ready now.

Yes. I am ready. And I am happy..

I will always cherish, honor and walk the sacred journey God led me through 26 years ago. In 7 days, He gave me new life. But I had to leave transplant if I was going to live that new life.

I was not to show my gratitude by staying in an isolation room being appreciative of the radical radiation and life-saving chemotherapy.

And so how are our day to day lives any different? We walk our sacred steps. We are on the journey. We are grateful for all its nuances… and we still move forward with inspiration.

Being in the moment; for me, is listening to that small quiet voice of God, the whisper of the Holy Spirit, the songs of the angels AND knowing that when I feel inspired to move - that the moment will carry me.

It may be a tiptoe, a climb, or a leap from a mountain. I just know that it has alway been the next right step.

Because isn’t that how we embrace gratitude?

AMEN