Soul Story

So much of this has to be fought on a different front - and i have to go to another place…

and it’s isolating, but it’s not dissociation - I used to think it was….

the best way I can think to describe it is a deep desire to connect

while feeling completely invisible -

because there is a spiritual shield - like a going inward that is only learned near-death…

when the veil becomes very thin -

It is a prayer that becomes so familiar, so known, that you know it only to be true…

But it gets so quiet

You feel like you are screaming but no one actually hears

And so

the silence becomes the prayer, the way of being, the grace, and the answer to the call.

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring or what the scans will show….

I know that every moment of my life has been miraculous, so I should expect nothing less…

I know with God All Things Are Possible and I know He will be with me tomorrow.

I know that I am tired, but I also know -

He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted…

My face has changed with each experience of cancer.. this used to scare me……

But i think i just see a little more of my soul exposed with each battle…

So I just keep showing up -

Pray for me tomorrow. We have some clean scans to make….

AMEN