#17... The Countdown Begins

My first chemo session (for this particular cancer) and counting. I have exactly 17 sessions. Side note: I love the numbers 7, 11, 17 and 21. My double mastectomy was on 7/17 and I have exactly 17 sessions. Its also exit 17 to get to the hospital. I would say that Holy Spirit is definitely letting me know that He is right here during all this. Just in case I should happen to forget.

And so let me share my thoughts for this first session and how I am embracing this culture yet again.

It is with a new sensibility… I have to believe,

have faith… that trust can feel like something new.

That I.

I can be something new.

The Holy Spirit is the forefront of my life. Filled in with people. I am the leftover space but not because I don’t matter.

I am the canvas and the Holy Spirit is my guide. I am filled with the presence of who I am in my life. The life that God created and I participate within.

As long as I show up, I exist. And the more I give of myself the more I embody this present soul life.

With the Holy Spirit as my guide, as well as the focus of my life - I am able to fulfill the gifts I was given unconditionally.

Mostly I never understood them. I didn’t even know if I should try to understood them. Only that the more I listen, the that I hear.

I just know that I’m here. I just know that I’m showing up. I just know that I’m praying for this holy, holy, grace so that I recognize the Holy Spirit always at my center. The Holy Spirit always as my foreground.

Because. Then I feel my soul. And then I can connect to my body. And then I exist.

Amen.