#15... Mary as the Ultimate Wonder Woman

Our passions have messages that we are drawn to honor. They are not trite. I am learning this.

My daughter loves Wonder Woman - along with unicorns, rainbows and glitter.

I feel like as a mama, i am always trying to keep these passions in balance. Like, is it okay that she is so in love with unicorns that she would write that the thing she is most grateful for in life is a unicorn? And then she would write that word on a pumpkin for all to see? Is it okay that her heart is so full of love for a unicorn?

And then it dawns on me… well actually it’s not quite dawn. The Holy Spirit has me up at 1 am to consider this.

I planned to write tomorrow if possible, but then I do not plan my blog posts. Usually I feel inspired to write on the day of my chemotherapy. Last night I did not hear the Holy Spirit speaking, so I went to sleep. But…

Back to unicorns.

Why is the Holy Spirit speaking to me about unicorns at 1 am? Maybe it is to experience Stella’s love of unicorns. Then again, I’m suddenly being drawn to think about unicorns while I have an intense feeling the miraculous.

Stella can ask me 1,000 questions in 1 minute. And those of you who know her, know this isn’t an exaggeration. Okay maybe a tiny one. 100 questions in 1 minute. And if I am practicing patience - I feel a deep understanding within her. Why? Because the questions she asks brings my attention to an experience of marvel and inspiration.

She honors a deep belief system. I have to be with her to realize this. I have to embrace her story. I have to get on her unicorn and glitter level. I have to find my inner wonder woman moment.

When I am with her, I feel all the miracles.

She is a story teller, not always in words, but in her experience of the world. She will ask me if Mary and Wonder Woman are friends. She will say the Hail Mary and ask why prayer cards don’t have more glitter on them.

I don’t feel like a hero. But Stella does. And she explains, in her own words, we are all heroes because we are all miracles - we inspire one another. She understands that we are called to be heroic. I am learning this from my child.

She is most grateful for unicorns because they are fluffy, glittery, shiny and colorful… and for Stella… that is how she feels the miraculous.

It’s no “wonder” she shares a passion for Mary the Mother of God and Wonder Woman.

Don’t worry dear Mama… I hear in my heart.

I picture her nightstand with her rosary and her unicorn stuffy. And I smile.

And even though I do worry… about being good enough as a mom, and a woman and a person…

I still smile.

I feel like the Holy Spirit is sharing her gift of discernment with me. Our tiny precious children have gifts of the Holy Spirit and I want to embrace hers.

This is a very long intro into my experience of treatment #15.

What is treatment #15?

Treatment #15 is who is Stella’s mama.

And why do I smile?

I smile because Stella calls me mama.

Yesterday she asked me how long she can call me mama… like can it be forever?

Grace Girl isn’t the girl going through cancer… again.

Although, this is very much a part of Grace Girl.

She is who I aspire to be. She is affectionate, loving and grateful. She leads with her heart. And perhaps feels more than she wants to feel, at times.

And so I ask myself, who is Stella’s mama?

Let me be clear on one thing. This is NOT a question about a role. Stella’s mom is not a role I play.

We share in the divinity God gave us by being obedient to and and by answering our call in the way our soul manifests here on earth.

I am Stella’s mama. Who is she?

Amen.